@farleftcoast: A jogger just yelled at me for accidentally blowing pot smoke in his face. So I yelled at him for making me feel fat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@shahnischmani: Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better.
@RubyBottoms: The ex says he's come into some money and can finally "take care" of me. Wait...he's gonna have me killed isn't he?