@farleftcoast: A jogger just yelled at me for accidentally blowing pot smoke in his face. So I yelled at him for making me feel fat.
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@vineyille: After dinner the other husbands and I retire to the garage and silently take turns climbing my new ladder.
@KBChicken75: "To each their own" Translation ~ one of us is right, and well... the other one is you.
@Henry_3k: As ice water runs down my face I conclude, "Boy, you sure like to eat bread!" is not a comment a lady on a dinner date enjoys hearing.
@brockwilbur: My fav sci-fi this year is the Bank of America ad where the 30 year old dude with a new baby has $56k in his checking account.