@rachelle_mandik: a kid i met insisted she visited the "vampire state building" and i couldn't bring myself to correct her
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@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Silence of the Lambs is my favorite movie. ME: Oh me too. HER: Which part do you like best? ME: *sweating* Um, when the lambs stop talking.
@better_off_dad: Joggers are going to be really pissed if it turns out we only get a certain amount of steps in life.
@Arrogant_Twat: My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I need to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing.
@VanGobot: *captain over the PA*: and if you look out your window to the left, you'll see Jerry, who is no longer my best friend, and deserves this.