@Storminika: A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'
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@MrsFancyPants77: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation.
@wickedimproper: Sometimes when I want to make my girlfriend feel skinny, I just release about 25% of her from the air valve.
@DeepDarkFear: "Hate it when I think of her and suddenly we're teleported to a picturesque location, and have to dance to a random love song." - Indians
@sickipediabot: Breaking News ..... international womans day postsponed until tomorrow , as they haven't got anything to wear