@Storminika: A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'
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@Sickayduh: ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra
@13spencer: Toys 'R Us pulled Breaking Bad figures because the characters sold drugs, but continue to sell Darth Vader ones, and he blew up a planet.
@WritePlay: *walking into our new house* ME: Whaddya say we christen our new home? HER: *giggling* OK *later, flinging holy water* ME: GET OUT GHOSTS