@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.
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@ClichedOut: *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* *delivers baby* Nurse 1: I'm exhausted. Nurse 2: I hate Labor Day.
@DurtMcHurtt: Me: *quickly flips through each layer of a Big Mac like a wad of cash* McDonald's employee: [nervously assuring me] it's all there I swear.
@HannahAntics: I complain about my kids a lot but I'd be lost without them. Lost in my expensive sports car in designer clothes. Or lost in my clean house.