@MarcusTheToken: A kiss begins with K. But it's also just a text from someone who doesn't want to have a conversation with you.
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@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: There's a spider on the carpet! Me: Haha, that's just a piece of fuzz. *fuzz moves* Me: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE HOUSE!
@TheBoydP: Top Six Uses Of Strategic Planning: 6. Politics 5. Sports 4. Investing 3. Business 2. Military 1. Returning home from guys/girls night out
@stonedcoldlazy: Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?