@MartinPilgrim1: A lady got off the train so I finished her crossword. Turns out she'd just gone to the toilet and now she's back and she hates me.
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@mrtruthandsoul: I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
@KevinFarzad: When walking behind someone at night, let them know you're not dangerous by yelling "DO NOT FEAR ME" very loudly
@DanMentos: words that seem cool until you find out what they mean - atrophy - space bar - supervision - extraction - dogmatic