@ddsmidt: A lady posted her grandmother's brownie recipe, so I tried making them. Turns out her grandma was a terrible cook
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@SirEvisiae: *pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*
@Shock_Monster: Hostess: Table for one? Me: More like TABLE FOR FUN, AMIRITE? Hostess: ... Me: ... Hostess: ... Me: Yes, one please.
@PaperWash: [interview at a clothing store] be cool, don't let them know you're a dog "so what color is this dress?" oh you gotta be kidding me