@grantgirl2004: A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite.
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@Contwixt: In truth, spiders are harmless* *Save for a few species whose venom reprograms your immune system to tell your body to eat its own organs.
@BigFatNothing: (in a rowboat with 6 starving people) "I think you mean "WHOM should we eat first"
@WildeThingy: I used to think alcohol silenced the voices in my head until I realised it had just moved them to my mouth.