@jimmytorosian: A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk.
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@mynameisntdave: JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat
@outsmartedmommy: Sometimes marriage is about love & compromise other times it's about letting the garbage get so full & seeing who will cave first.
@rachelle_mandik: let us all return to a simpler time, such as when i believed astroturf was farmed in space and brought to earth