@crunchenhancer: A leaf blower, but for people.
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@FreudsTwin: Rather than Anti-psychotic drugs, I prefer a more friendlier tone like Pro-sanity pills.
@vanderwangwe: Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too.
@BatBatshitcrazy: I was going to pay my mortgage this month, but I was asked to bring guacamole to the family potluck.
@Book_Krazy: *Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] "you said debriefing"