A lethal injection that takes two hours has no place in a civilized society. And it shouldn’t happen in Arizona either.
You Might Also Like
“The Perfect Relationship”
A dog just came up to me to say hello and the owner dragged him off.
Jealousy will get you nowhere, pal.
Therapists listen to anything you wanna say. The other day I was like “there is so much hair in the world and I feel like we could be doing something powerful with it but the hairdressers won’t comply” and my therapist just nodded
“Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she’s not herself.”
*grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*
you learn something new every day oh god make it stop
Father’s Day tip: Your Dad is busy this weekend.
Jeweler- Lord of the rings
Fast internet- Lord of the pings
Vocalist- Lord of the sings
Trivia winner- Lord of the dings
Medical supply- Lord of the slings
Orchestra- Lord of the strings
Sports bar- Lord of the wings
Beekeeper- Lord of the stings
Tinder- Lord of the flings
The Grapes of Wrath 2: The Raisins of Revenge
We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, “Good for him.”
I was going to wash my car in my driveway but then I realized I don’t own a halter top or cut-off shorts.
Dammit.
I dunno…maybe the Mars Rover can find all the spoons and bowls in my kids bedroom.
My cat just winked at me and now it’s awkward because I only see her as a friend.
me: [puts a snorkel and flippers on my horse]
water polo ref: still no
me, drunk, into the thermostat: alexa, how do i charge my milk when it’s at 2%?
i love that kanye gets into very specific beefs with ppl i have to google but he’s nice enough to say both their first & last name
I’m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out.
We are going to watch tv.
I used to be embarrassed when people held my money up in the light to check for fraud but now it’s just another atta girl that my art degree and life of crime is paying off.
When you die your voice gets added to the Big Bang Theory laugh track.
My dentist has a tremor. He’s a good dentist, but you just don’t know exactly what’s going to get fixed.
There is a very fine line between kidnapping an introvert and taking them to a party.
Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere.
I sold them all on the black market.
I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count
If your family goes to church on Christmas morning, be grateful. This may be your only chance to lock them out of the house.
i’m no stephen hawking but i think
what happens is that they cancel
each other out
Ran into someone that said “oh I haven’t seen you in a long time” and I was like I know I did that on purpose.
I love secret agent movies. You can never tell they’re hiding in plain sight because they are wearing all black and talking to themselves
Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away
I just saw my dad screenshot all by himself,they grow up so fast
[fast food management]
“All dipping sauces go into a plastic container.”
“What about ketchup?”
“Use a tiny pouch impossible to open without getting half of it on your fingers.”