@SteveSuckington: A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
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@yenniwhite: As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I'm a mom and I'm like, Oh. OK.
@isabelzawtun: The local children surround me, trying to build a pyre. I'M NOT A WITCH, I shriek, my witch-like shrieking doing me no favours whatsoever
@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."
@shegotagronk: It's so beautiful outside. I should probably do something...Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my computer screen.