@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
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@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!
@MissNaughty1801: ...: who do you listen to more? Mummy or daddy? 5y: mummy ...: why? 5y: mummy talks more
@iwearaonesie: [commercial for kids] woman *opens pantry and 6 bags of chips fall out* ARGH! narrator: Are you tired of having food in your house?