@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
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@ceejoyner: Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn.
@ItsJusKimberly: [doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door "no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"
@david8hughes: [fancy restaurant] Me: do you have orange cat food? Wife [whispers to waiter]: he means lasagna