@omgthatspunny: A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood.
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@FeralCrone: An alien makes contact. I take it home, give it a sandwich. Then ice cream. And then, to show we're an advanced race, an ice cream sandwich.
@CynicalLongkat: Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?
@HrBry: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching my license plate before I ran down all the people I hate
@DiscoFruit: i'm gonna build my house on your house and if you even come close to my house that's attached to your house, we'll attack you.. - bees