@omgthatspunny: A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo. -Oh, like the artist. -Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@SexySpainNights: When someone cries, "No one gets me" I immediately snatch them and put them in my trunk and yell, "I got you"!
@TheToddWilliams: [shark therapy] "My girl dumped me & I haven't eaten in days" There's lots of fish in the sea "Yeah but...actually that covers everything"
@lecalabara: "The 59th rule of Fight Club is, we cant park in the lot on Vermont anymore - The owner is being a jerk. Just find street parking. 60th..."