@IGotsSmarts: A lion would probably call a Kenyan runner fast food.
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@ScubavelliDeux: *whispers seductively in your ear* "...look at that last slice of pizza and you're dead to me..."
@SamGirlSunday: I don't know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now.
@Donna_McCoy: Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand.
@GeriatricBeards: [Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?