@HelloJessicaFox: A little about me: I’m a beekeeper. I see a bee, I keep it. I don’t care whose bee it is. Should have been watching it better.
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@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount
@JermHimselfish: Peanut butter and jelly are so in love with each other that all they do is lay around in bread all day.
@dreamthievin: Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl
@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: wow ok gimme a second GENIE: done ME: wait GENIE: sure if that's your wish ME: be quiet GENIE: ME: damn