@msmegmensa: A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles.
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@POTerritory: Him: The dog ate your take-home final? Me: Yeah. Him: So what happened? Me: Well, a few hours later- Him: Oh, no. Me: -he passed the test.
@theshamingofjay: I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check.
@markydoodoo: I'm 34 years old and I still don't know what to do when the barber shows me the back of my head with that little mirror.