@msmegmensa: A little drunk. Playing scrabble with my cat. Not sure who's winning cause he's eaten most of his tiles.
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@goldengateblond: Don't ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
@jctwritesstuff: [Speed date] Me: How many taco trucks are in close proximity to your house? Him: I uh... I don't... Me: NEXT
@stephenjmolloy: [Interrogation room] Good cop: "Confess and we will go easy on you" Sweet tooth cop: "You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!" *runs outside*