@NeinQuarterly: A little poetry never killed anybody. But haiku keeps trying.
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@Dank_Pal: [Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod
@Keys_ToMe: I love to watch the look of panic on my husband's face when I pull a pair of panties out of my drawer and say, "um, these aren't mine."
@LurkAtHomeMom: I wish the dude that jogs around my neighborhood all day would wear a Super Mario costume. And occasionally duck into sewers.