@Jamie1947: a little too long, but basically a perfect tweet
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@TySmithdrums: I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it
@rickolantern: I'll bet when two cannibals get trapped in an elevator going to lunch, around the fifth minute, things start getting a little weird.
@mattgallo123: I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell "alright!".
@Disalmanac: Today in 1892, JRR Tolkien was born. He wrote about all the horrible things that will happen if you put a ring on it.