@Jamie1947: a little too long, but basically a perfect tweet
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: *high pitched voice* I love you Kylo Ren. You're the best dark Jedi ever General Hux: *walks in* Stop playing with Vader's helmet
@ceejoyner: Some fancy kids just egged my house with quail eggs. I went out to yell, and one of them garnished me with chives.
@ibid78: Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses
@Chalupanati: *PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin