@BigFatNothing: A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn't that discount apply everywhere?
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@Bluestmoon_: 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@TheHyyyype: MATH TEACHER: wanna come do the problem on the board? ME: no MT: i wasn't asking ME: if u were an english teacher you'd know that u were
@MelvinofYork: There is a woman on this plane going on vacation with a cat in a carrier. Because cats love surprises, travel, and unfamiliar surroundings.
@Quartzjixler: Oppenheimer at the A-Bomb test saying "Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds" only me exiting the bathroom after eating Taco Bell.