@BigFatNothing: A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn't that discount apply everywhere?
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@ShawnGarrett: Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more.
@imadepoopstoday: Your water broke? Do I look like an idiot? You can't "break" water...get back to work.
@mjkspeaks: An important phone call is something that occurs when there's no better excuse to ignore someone.