@TravLeBlanc: A long time ago, I learned the importance of just being myself. I think the world would be a better place if everyone would just be myself.
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@manwhohasitall: Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'.
@RidiculousSheri: 'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.
@Cheeseboy22: My 8yo son spent 45 minutes perusing and closely inspecting the 31 flavors to finally decide on "chocolate."