@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"
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@SocialustGal13: I don't hate you. Hate is such a strong word. I just want to tickle your brain with this ice pick.
@absolutemeh: A new study finds marijuana users are not more likely to have car accidents. Mostly because they're usually too high to find their cars.
@kyry5: Me: "This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones" "Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"