@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"
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@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U! U: who, me? Cop: no the other 1! 1: who, me? Cop: both of U! W: who, us? Cop: Yes you! U: Who, me? Cop: No! No: yes?
@huntigula: [March 15] Brutus: Going 2 the senate? Caesar: yeah u? Brutus: yep it'll be killer Caesar: how so? Brutus: like cool u know rad senate stuff
@j88ess: Stop trying to make small talk with me in an elevator. It's 2013. Stare at your phone like a normal person