@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"
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@ShawnIzadi: Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What.
@darth__mouth: hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper.
@1Happytwit: If you're already in the cop car, I really can't see how puking in it could make things any worse.
@JaneanPatience: Leonard Cohen is jamming in heaven with Prince now. Really awkwardly. It's not going well. Their musical styles aren't compatible