@blainecapatch: a lot of people are really funny but they're not comedians and a lot of comedians are really funny but they're not people
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@hippieswordfish: [day 38 on the ark] NOAHS WIFE: we're out of food NOAH: don't worry, i have a contingency plan UNICORN: why are u lookin at me like that
@TwinSurvivalist: Sex is great, but have you ever deleted 1700 emails after returning from vacation?
@underchilde: You could probably master Mandarin while waiting on the last bit of laundry detergent to drizzle into the cap.