@AndyAsAdjective: A lot of people ask me "why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"
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@truegritrumble: Greatest Fears: -Sharks -Ebola -Bears -Bear Sharks -Bear Sharks with Ebola -Sharks with Lazers -Man carrying a clipboard on the sidewalks
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*
@TheBoydP: Of course I'm more of a yeeeeeee-haaaaaw! than a wooooohoooo! kinda guy because Texan and whatnot.