@AndyAsAdjective: A lot of people ask me "why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"
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@TheMichaelRock: 7yo: I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH! Me: The Tooth Fairy doesn't want you messing with it until payd...Friday.
@panmidwest: ANGEL: the humans need a model for how they should treat you… GOD: [creates dog] ANGEL: …and for how they actually do GOD: [creates cat]