@QwertyJones3: A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
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@TheToddWilliams: This forest scent air freshener is really working. Three elk have moved into my living room.
@fart: "my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"
@Phoebetate: Shout out to my body for reminding me that, while I'm too old to have the tiny waist of a 15yo, I'm not too old for a pimple on the forehead