@zachreinert03: A lot of people look at Russian roulette as a negative game, but statistically it's actually one of the only games you can't lose twice
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@Kim_pulsive: My dogs keep looking at me as if I have the power to fix the snow outside but I'm too goddamned lazy to do it
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you do at preschool? 3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.
@Xoolun: I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, and paying their bills.