@OhNoSheTwitnt: A lot of your 30’s involves finding out that the bartender is younger than you and so is your doctor.
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@hazelmotes1: I constantly google "how to put your kids up for adoption" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around.
@dumbbeezie: Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll have to fix the washing machine yourself with YouTube videos
@GlennyRodge: A horse walks into a bar. The batman asks "why the long..." "wait a minute, did you see that typo?" interrupts the horse.