@crunchenhancer: A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
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@causticbob: Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?
@withanewname: If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college
@manwhohasitall: Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'.
@XLToast: No son, you can't go out with your friends. Tonight we're installing Windows Updates, as a family.