@crunchenhancer: A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
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@robdelaney: 23. RT @Highlights: Parents, at what age do you think it's okay for a child to get his or her own cell phone?
@neiltyson: FYI: By the end of the Twelve Days of Christmas song, your home is crammed with 23 flying Birds and 50 hyperactive Humans.
@boring_as_heck: The KKK was started by some dork who wanted to wear robes and call himself a wizard and his dad was like "Ok but only if you're racist too."
@dshack8: I'm weird but not "sit around the house with my shirt tucked in even though I've got no plans to leave" weird. That stuff's 4 serial killers.