@13spencer: A man at a cemetery for Titanic victims claims to have taken a photo of a ghost. The ghost reportedly said "there was room for two people."
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@RorynotRoy: "Have you tried sleeping? Okay. And you've had enough burritos lately? Hmm. Well, this is puzzling." - me as a doctor
@chuuew: [forest] ME: Gotta be quiet if we're gonna catch Bigfoot FRIEND: We want Bigfoot not Bigear! ME: Haha BIGEAR: [sobs quietly in the distance]
@UncleDuke1969: *kneels to pray* “Hello, God?” “YOU’VE REACHED CUSTOMER SUPPORT.” “Who is this?” “MY NAME IS BRAD.” “Are you in Heaven, Brad?” “NO, INDIA.”
@randomlawless: My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to "work her core." I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win.