@13spencer: A man at a cemetery for Titanic victims claims to have taken a photo of a ghost. The ghost reportedly said "there was room for two people."
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@daemonic3: [date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure
@sixfootcandy: I filled my brother's shampoo bottle with olive oil and glitter last night. Have a great day in court, counselor!
@Brentweets: Twitter is like a dorm, someone is always up at every hour, someone is crying and someone is drunk.