@joeljeffrey: A man fought off a polar bear yesterday using only his cell phone... it was probably a blackberry. The bear was so disgusted he just left.
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@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?
@SatansTongue: Give me a massage "Mm okay" *rubs oil all over her* *things get hot* *things get too hot* *she bursts into flames* "Dang I used petroleum"