@LoriLuvsShoes: A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair
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@ObscureGent: When I die, I'm going out guns blazing with all hell coming with me. *Dies eating gas station sushi
@aka_fatman: Indiana Jones: [screaming as his hand is crushed under a door] ARRGGHHH! WHY? WHY DID I REACH FOR MY HAT? I OWN SO MANY HATS!!
@Brianhopecomedy: I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp.