@Tmoney68: A man played Justin Bieber to force an attacking bear to run off. He was treated for his injuries, then arrested for cruelty to animals.
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@CelebrityChez: If it could be arranged, I would like to die by being waterboarded by a soft serve ice cream machine.
@LurkAtHomeMom: My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining.
@MartaEffing: Between bank balances, my weight and age, math makes me more emotional than I ever thought possible.
@SteveSuckington: [job interview] "What's your.." *interrupts* -My greatest strength is my work ethic "Well played. Welcome to the psychic friends network"