@michaeldean0116: A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as "stable". #manicmonday
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@sammyrhodes: One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
@TaylorVirtue: GUYS GUYS GUYS, I just saw this dude wearing the stupidest . . . False alarm, just a mirror.
@causticbob: I saw an Indian asleep on the train, noticed the little red dot on his forehead, and thought, "Is he on standby?"