@RalphSudafed: A manual RT is like saying "Hey check out this guy, but keep looking at my face. Please...don't ever stop looking at my face..."
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@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof
@tastefactory: 2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny 2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over
@AristotlesNZ: Me: You put the "cow" in "coworker" Her: Excuse me?? Me: It's a joke format. Her: I'm telling HR.. Me: Ok but I doubt they'll get it either.
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."