@Thedudish: A million dollar idea: Diapers for birds.
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@jake_likes_naps: [accidentally calls teacher "mom"] MY BRAIN: shit, play it cool. say something. ME: what's for dinner tonight BRAIN: what
@KelFocker: I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
@KrissiBex: Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
@rantingmd: getting sick of watching movies where johnny depp dresses like a hobo. I blame him for russel brand