@DJRotaryRachel: A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior.
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@david8hughes: Her: I like your hair. Did you get it cut? Me: I washed it Her: but it looks really different Me: yeah I used water this time
@abbycohenwl: Me: Why am I suddenly sick? Friend: Probably the change in the Weather [earlier] Weather: *uncharacteristically puts poison in my coffee*
@_SingleBabyMama: I answer with an automatic "Yes" each time my mom says "Oh, have I told you...?" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.