@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
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@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!
@Try2StopME: I had a pretty confused childhood because I thought obituaries are actually advertisements selling dead people.
@Douchekevin: You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside.