@_NinJar: A missing 3YO was found inside a bowling alley claw game. After many failed attempts to get him out, police just settled on the turtle doll.
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@DancesWithTamis: The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow
@Tmoney68: Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said "We do our business in your mouth" and I haven't stopped laughing.
@SteussieErica: Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee