@SufficientCharm: A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn't eat.
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@FatherWithTwins: Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily
@TwiCarlyGleeber: Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one
@werehedgehog: When your baby cries, don't feed it. That's just what it expects you to do. You have to outsmart it.