@SufficientCharm: A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn't eat.
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@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
@Danny_Dilford: I was wondering why I wasn't picking up any chicks recently, but then I realized my Monster energy sticker fell off my car
@tastefactory: I accidentally heated my Hot Pocket for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and now there's a giant radioactive Hot Pocket in my apartment watching my tv
@PanicRestroom: How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome