@10InchesPlus: A model train set is the male equivalent of 25 cats.
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@AGreaterMonster: LOL at the neighbor kids who didn't realize I keep my piranhas in the hot tub.
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?
@T_N_Crumpets: Bartender: YOU'RE the guy that drinks from the soap dispenser in the toilets? Me: [I try to say "NO" but it's just lavender scented bubbles]
@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.