@the_rock_chic: A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes...
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@Smethanie: I texted someone "hell yeah," but autocorrect changed it to "hell year" because even our phones know.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Be vague. Be very vague. Be so vague that eventually you're not even sure what you just said.
@weismanjake: Think of how horrible Ray Rice and the NFL had to act in order to make TMZ seem like brave investigative reporters
@KKBowls: Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid