@the_rock_chic: A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes...
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@ArfMeasures: WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down
@katy_baybay: I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap sack and dragged through Columbia behind a donkey.
@joe_binkley: What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?
@arealliveghost: my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called "good"