@whostrevors: A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the "mid air" beach picture :(
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@simoncholland: My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she's going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
@ArfMeasures: ME: One time I was attacked by a shark REPORTER: Wow! [turns on recorder] tell us what it was like ME [leans in to mic] A massive fish
@Doc_Jyoti: Women's Magazines: Pg 1. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20kg in 10 days.