@whostrevors: A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the "mid air" beach picture :(
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@iwearaonesie: She said, "Are you even listening to me? This is important!" I said, "I don't know, pizza?" And that's how the fight started
@robfee: The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called "15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."
@jwoodham: Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back.
@ericsshadow: [at my high school reunion] Hey guys, remember last year when we toilet papered Mrs. Krebb's house? "Dude that was in 1991."