@TragicAllyHere: A mongoose is just a goose who listens to reggae
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@MsCassieDaniels: Canada's got it right, when they don't want a citizen, they just convince them they have talent so they move to the US. #JustinBeiber
@SamuelHLowe: I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
@SirEviscerate: You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!
@squirrel74wkgn: [slowly removing special glasses] Me (looking left): Bob, that eclipse was amazing Bob (taps my right shoulder): Hey, I'm over here