@TragicAllyHere: A mongoose is just a goose who listens to reggae
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@bromanconsul: sorry son. I know u had ur heart set on college but Grandma had to throw her massive diamond into the ocean to deal w some emotional stuff
@13spencer: I'm going back to work tomorrow after the holiday break, which means playing that annual game: What food is rotting in the office kitchen?
@maughammom: Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember.
@CorkyKneivel: If your girlfriend says "my pyramid is late..." Know two things: 1. Your hearing is poor 2. That's not your biggest problem right now