@cashbonez: [A montage of me flailing because I walked into a spiders web, with larger and larger crowds, until I am at the karate championships]
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@rickygervais: If a swan broke my arm I'd keep it quiet. Embarrassing. "Help, I'm being beaten up by a big white lanky floating chicken." Not cool.
@MalcInYourWife: So women draw their eyebrows on daily, and nothing is said. I sharpie on a beard for movember and suddenly everyone has something to say.
@upsidedowntrash: [God creating lizards] God: How about a snake with arms and legs? Snake: [trys to throw its arms up in disgust, but just remains very still]