@andylassner: A Morning After pill but for over eating.
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@KateWhineHall: Me: This is DISGUSTING! WHO PEED ON THE WALL?! 7yo: Not me. I only pee on the floor.
@joe_binkley: I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say "I don't think you're ready."
@jkrambles: It's not God I dislike, He's cool. it's certain members of his fanclub that rub me the wrong way.
@TYrannosaurus: Auto correct doesn't work when I use caps lock. My phone is like "woah, better let this dude cool down before I tell him he's wrong"