@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer
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@donni: CASHIER: One ultrathin lubricated condom. That'll be $3.25 DUCK: Can you put it on my bill? CASHIER: That's not where it goes, silly
@Home_Halfway: We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker.
@farahfergie: I bet "jerk chicken" is that chicken that cuts others off when the other chickens are trying to cross the road.