@Quartzjixler: A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.
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@MartaEffing: When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved.
@jonnysun: i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"
@bananagrvyrd: People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
@ThaJawn: *hands note Boss: *reading* 'Please excuse my son from' Ridiculous! You're working! *thinking* I practiced my Mom's signature for nothing