@kiralc: a murder of crows, a troop of monkeys, a pod of dolphins, a herpe of Kardashians
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@markedly: Many people that appear "cool" actually struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Not me. I have those feelings without appearing cool at all.
@StellaRtwot: Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother.
@mikeleffingwell: "And... uh... chocolate kills dogs." - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth.
@sad_tree: *hit man puts on silencer* *shoots gun* Gun: YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE LIKE MY MOMS Wth? *looks at case* Oh I brought the awkward silencer