@ericONEderful: A naked man brushed his teeth next to me as I washed my hands. This is why I don't go to the gym often.
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@Reverend_Scott: I just raced a Smart car. He barely beat me, but that's only cuz I stopped to tie my shoe.
@PS_IRuddYou: This girl text me: "your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo...
@mikeleffingwell: "And... uh... chocolate kills dogs." - God puts the finishing touches on life on earth.