@badbanana: A national monument to those brave online heroes who were "First!" in comments.
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@violet_heartin: *strips & lies on the couch* Me: Draw me like the one of your French girls. Cop sketch artist: For the last time, get out of my house.
@CoopSoSarc: I was feeling great about myself when I saw my number on the womens bathroom wall 'for a good time'. Then I recognized my hand writing.
@thestlouisan: [Delivery room] Her: I was thinking we could call him Rob Me: If we're naming him after felonies, why not just call him Arson, Linda?!