@DumbPeoplePosts: A new breed of stupid...
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@CooIStepDad: "Son it's time we had the talk" "Cmon dad I know about se.." "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" "What?" "It was an inside job"
@TheHyyyype: [first day as a detective] ME: omg nothing but his skeleton is left! OTHER DETECTIVE: this is a halloween store. the dead guy's over there
@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea