@donni: A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages
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@murrman5: [phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete "can owls fly" before mom sees it
@popespeed: i regret to inform the fans that yet another draft of my romance novel has been rejected for overusing the phrase "really going to town" in sex scenes
@StevioSquared: Leonardo DiCaprio playing me in the movie of my life, but in the scene where I'm watching Titanic, it's me playing him.
@somecleverthing: I just had the thought "pfft. Your father can't die before you are born," and I believed it for a full minute. Because I'm smert.